Nothing is Permanent but Change.

As i was sitting at the beach in Goa and looking at my family having fun, Anuvas naughtiness making me giggle, Anshs observations and questions making me wonder, I saw this young lady slowly saunter by and sat on a  rock close by. She sat there almost still .

Just as we are tuned, i thought probably her partner will soon join her..then a few minuter later i wondered if she has had an argument with him and is sitting there sad.

Why did i not once think that she was alone and not lonely, and that she was enjoying the sunset. Alone is certainly not lonely! i know that cos i enjoy being alone. Just a  walk by myself or even sitting and having my dinner alone at times is good. And i have felt lonely in a  group of people , wanting to run out of a  place.

When we got back home from the trip, i sat looking at this picture and it was then i looked at it again closely and the girl there seemed peaceful and enjoying the sunset.

It was i who sat there overthinking, looking at her when i could have just enjoyed the sunset! I have realised the unrest is within us and one fleeting thought that can raise a wave of unwanted emotion.

Which brings me to Change. There is so much i have read and heard about this one single ,powerful word. For people who know me, know that i have lost weight . And any one who is on a  weightloss trip knows how difficult it can be and also how easy it can get once you've made up your mind.

Making up ones mind is probably the biggest challenge one faces. For years, ive heard things from people about how i need to loose weight in different ways, some really gently and some really harsh. While i can write one whole blog about just the comments, i don't want to focus on those here. While It was being hammered, nothing worked..i took it all with a  smile, then why did i one day not smile at those comments? It was because I realised i needed to make that one change in my life. Its you, only you , your thoughts, your desire , your motivation and your want to get what you have made up your mind to achieve.

Your mind, your will is the strongest force to help you achieve what you want.

The process of change is very humbling and its beautiful. So when my mind was made, i was more open to being appreciative of people who have achieved it. My friend Tina and Hazel have been my biggest motivators. Not only in being healthy , but their approach to life.

I have started listening to people I Listen, not hear. I appreciate small things . I ask for help when i need it.

I have set new goals for myself- i want to have the ability to accept people in my life who are different from me.  When you are a stay at home mom, in a  nuclear family you are almost like the boss. The moment i have someone i dont get along with i just have a  delete button in my mind (too) and the person disappears. So my next big Change is to accept the person with differences with open arms and learn a  lot more. Its easier to ignore than to accept and that is a challenge. This is the next big improvement i am looking to make in myself.

Hopefully my next blog in this series will be about how i made the change and how i have improved as a  person. Change is inevitable and it is good.

The three Mad girls

The Madness in Goa

This was my first trip to Goa..yes first one in 36 years! My friends kept telling me how crazy it is there, how different it is and how much fun it is.  I was asked to pack at least 10 sets of clothes, for two days! These girls are crazy i thought,for it was their umpteenth time, i decided to just listen to them. My bag over stuffed and a handbag full of goodies, i decided to look sassy and wore the only heels i am used to..and left for the airport.

I reached Goa at 7 PM.. bummer this connectivity to Goa from Chennai is..took cab from the airport to the resort we were in and a wait of another hour and half to the resort before the whirlwind started.

The first thing i noticed was that despite being 31degrees and next to the sea, Goa was not as hot as Chennai. the Roads were great till Panaji and the car was almost floating:) and i thought float..this word will stick with me in Goa.

Reached the room at 8:30 pm almost dead, and like the monsters in the monsters inc, the sudden screams and hugs had me all charged up again. Only these screams were happy screams!

When i go with my family to holidays, the style quotient is zero. Literally. My hair is just tied sometimes even without brushing it. The clothes are drab sometimes even reapeated on the trip and i am ok with that. But my girls trip is different. Its all about getting dressed and looking good. Its all about my self. When  after a  long time looked at myself in the mirror, noticing my eyes, my hair , my skin , the small laugh lines appearing, there was a song in my head...

Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya
But I ain't done much healing (Adele)

The three of us are like three girls talk about fashion, earning from the other, saying silly things and doing silly things too.

So all set and feeling good, we left for a place called Waters which is at the Vagator beach. Nice place but not too much crowd..honestly we couldnt care much. We took our selfies with the pout n all and then sat down and talked and talked and talked...

The one thing about goa is..no one cares about what you are wearing or doing...its ok to be showing a cleavage and not have men oogle at it. Its ok to just sit with a drink or a  smoke and not be judged and perhaps this is the reason why women like Goa. I saw a lot of women groups having fun. Dancing singing and just being themselves(?) or maybe exploring a different lifestyle. 

Whatever, the women were comfortable and interestingly, the men just let them be. I wish we could be like this everywhere.

We hopped from waters to Antarez another shack for some midnight coffee and pizzas. And we laughed like crazy something i havent done in a  while..though i cant answer why.

We decided to head back to the resort around 2;30 pm and it was just so easy to get a  cab.Safe and we got back so tired.

The morning was beautiful. I heard someone saying , Chalo get up sweetie..and i jumped to look at the watch only to realise nope...no hassle we are in Goa..i said,dont worry just chill, sleep for another hour:) but NO..Tina and Hazel were up and the pressure to get up was high.

So woke up and in less than an hour , we were set to go for the water adventure sports we had planned. But we had our stomach howling like babies by now..so we had to attend to them. Walked to Mango tree..5 mins from Cochicos and dug into some scrumptous breakfast. Now it was time for some kickass action!

Water sports

Parasailing, boatride, bumper ride, banana boat , and jet skiing. We went in for all these . I am petrified of water. The only accident i fear is to have in water. I couldnt learn to swim because of the fear but at 30 i said enough is enough and Ansh ( my son) and i learned to swim together. However, i still am petrified in water and i canot control myself in it. So, in a  way this was a big deal for me but , it was a bigger deal for my girl friends who were doing something like this for the first time. Off we went...

They first took us in a  boat to another bigger one where we just mentally prepared ourselves...(thats what the others were doing)...i only tried not to throw up cos i  get sea sick.
Phew we had another 8 Men joining us...and then the fun began. I was the first one to go..was harnessed and i went up the board on the boat where you are harnessed to the chute and reeled out....it was fun ..but honestly having done some other exhilirating stuff, i thought it didnt get my adreline rushing...it should have been faster...much faster for my liking...However, the dip was not scary either , for the fact that i knew i would spalsh into water, i wasnt a bit perturbed.  I also thought that the stint, in fact all the activities,we did here were too short.

Tina and Hazel had a ball...it was so much fun to just see their faces and expressions. Hazel had decided not to go for the dip...but Tina and i decided she should..hehehehe and Hazel was screaming her guts out when she neared the water. A good sight it was- the fearless hazel screaming in fear:)

We were soo done after this that we just decided we had to drink before we got into the other rides. Sipping , taking pics , chattering away...we so easily  forget that peope are around us..Untill the sports organiser insisted we comein for the other rides.  am not sure..but i think the next was the banana ride... we sat on the damn banana...Tina, Prabs and Haze in that order...and some other people behind..the ride began..and i couldnt stop laughing, Tina couldnt stop screaming and Haze couldnt squeak anything! A round done and while my mind was only 
focussing on balancing the correct way ( since my weight is susbstantial and i know i can balance a lot throwing my weight the right way;)) , we toppled... blub, blub blub...suddenly it was just water around i could see the bublles from my mouth floating and i came up and went down again and then managed to stand. Darn , i hate being in there just hate it.

Even before i had my breathing right i had some one tell me ..madam here madam here...the bumper ride! And he led me to something like a  flat ballon and i jumped on it ...its like an inflated disc which is swished around ....i was with Tina and it got over super quick. Since Hazel just dint want to do the bumper ride, i decided to go for it again....and while it was fun..that damn disc toppled and i was in the water again. I heard from others that this one was a  
dramatic capsize. dramatic or not.....i hate being underwater!!

Jetsking was the last sport and we did it all....got into the shack and drank more. Phew the heat !the exhilaration just made us so thirsty....by now we had reached our darker shade of Brown;0;0

More fun in the water, we changed and headed for lunch..we chose Brittos. Lucky we were, to get a fabulous table without any waiting . Did i mention, that it is tough to be a  vegetarian in goa? I ate chicken tikka as lunch, and dinner through the trip cos thats the only non veg dish i eat..Phew no more tikka for a  while for me.

Once we indulged in some good food and awesome drinks, we decided we should take something back from Goa. I was really keen on tasting the Perad and i so wanted that.We headed to  Mapusa market. The first buy was prawns curry masala. for the ones who know me, i enjoy cooking and though iam not much of a  non vegetarian, i have recently started making a lot of it. We went on further and we bought cake, dodol, poi, cashewnuts and i ended up buying a lot of pastes to experiment goan cuisine;)

Shopping done, we headed back to the resort to chill for a  while .
The evening soon turned into late evening and we ... after a  lot of debate about which dress is good and which is not, finally decided and headed to Thalassa. Now, we had been calling them for reserving a  table since a  whlie but they insisted they were sold out. So we just gave it a  try. We entered Thalassa and i saw happy smiling people . Occasionally when the smoke faded, 
i got a  glimpse of the face too..hehhe. We spoke to the lady incharge and were we in luck?Got a  table right away. We were so glad...me particularly, cos i could now park myself and give my feet a rest.

As the night progressed, i realised why Thalassa is what it is. Why people rave about it. Its a place which has the mix of music, performance, good food, ambience and a fun-loving crowd. 

I have not danced in years..in public at least..but i did after say a  decade maybe...i did and for me that was a high. We really enjoyed the atmosphere there. And i love dance. I love swaying to music and i love people dancing..it talks so much about them:) 

While the night passed and i kept noticing people around,as by now my friends were floating and yet dancing....my eyes strayed back again and again to this couple...a young couple who were 

one ,they danced like a flame and the smile on their face never faded. I dont think they noticed anyone around and couldnt care less for their gaze never left each others.If they are a couple iam sure they will be a  happy one for they enjoyed each others company soo much.

Hmm.. while i was still enjoying the mood, we decided we had to check out Titos too...so we went to Titos and ..we shopped at 12:30 am in the morning! We bought dresses and skirts and tops! And now i also am a  proof that women can shop anytime!

We stayed at Titos for another hour and took a  cab home. Must mention that you should have excellent bargaining skills for buying everything from clothes to cabs.If you are someone like me who cant bargain, pls tag along with someone who can. I did:)

Morning! this was the last day for Hazel and me. Tina stayed behind for her darling hubby was joining her later in the day. We headed to Mango tree for bfast and then to Vagator beach for some fun in water.(not for me):) We stayed at the beach for a  while and with a  heavy heart and heavier steps...we reached back to the resort..a quick shower and packing done, we were ready to depart.

Hazel and I bid adeu to Tina with a  promise to continue the girl madness in another trip.

As i sat in the flight and saw goa diminishing, I realised how important these trips are for me . Its not the place its my friends that make the difference. So Goa, you are special to me cos i met you with my friends who made you look so beautiful ..see you again!